What do idealism, romanticism and optimism all have in common?
Well, strangely enough, (ha) I consider myself all three of the above, which is not as good of a thing as I used to think. But, I'm learning that there are pros and cons to my philosophy. Basically, when I think of a situation, I picture an ideal, a perfect outcome. Then I romanticize this ideal with flowery language, high emotions, and easy steps that lead to my perfect conclusion.
While it may be alright to dream, sometimes my futuristic mindset disables me from experiencing the present in full. Isn't this sense of fulfilling pre-operated notions why we stress? Where does my attitude of having to please myself and God come from? Where does this pressure to perform well come from?
I want to understand why I act the way I act, then make sure that I handle myself well in certain situations. Maybe I want an ideal where I don't get anxious over trying times, and where I have the perfect answer for every question life throws at me in my spiritual, psychological, social, and emotional crises. This is where my optimistic philosophy factors in - I value looking for the good in the ugly. But optimism can make me blind to realities, simply because I want to refuse to face the music, even though I can't.
Sometimes I get lost when thinking how righteous I am. I don't party, do drugs, drink, have sex outside of marriage, how bad can I possibly be doing? But then I think of all the people I could be touching, all the hearts that I haven't been brave enough to entrust myself to. Or being blind to the needs of others around me. What fickle, distorted, silly, interesting, wonderful human beings we are.
Love,
A college girl who is learning, growing, and discovering myself.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Sunday, November 11, 2012
College & Making Friends
A vital part of human existence is about the relationships we build and the influence we have on one another.
We are meant to be social creatures, like in Genesis when God said that it is not good for man to be alone.
I've learned that friendships in college, however, make or break your character as a person. Isn't that scary? College is such an interesting time of development where we exert independence, but we aren't really fully independent yet. Sure we act like it, but in reality are we really fully independent and not just in the material sense but also in the emotional and psychological sense.
As a freshmen, I have SO much to learn to continue growing.
This mindset of learning not only in school, but also socially is seen differently from different people. I've seen people my age on campus who have taken less care for their scholastic experience and more care for their social, which is a problem. They are consumed with partying and flirting and the drama behind their lifestyle is so ugly.
And, on the other hand, I've noticed people who don't socialize enough and need to take a break from the pressure they put themselves under in school. I understand the desire to make good grades and do well, but as social humans we also need to take the time to care for ourselves as a whole person and not just our mental facilities.
How do we find this balance?
Being active in a wide variety of groups and organizations allows you experience different perspectives. to surround myself among different friends. Experience with dealing with both the "nerds" and "jocks" helps make my social experience more wholesome because I am encountering the real world. In my work circle, I am most likely going to face opposing views and have to spend more time with others to understand their views. I'm OK with this, in fact, I find it very interesting how different people bring different qualities out of myself. I am still myself, but I will insert certain phrases and sayings to relate to the social group I am around.
I've also noticed the people who seek this same balance as myself. Qualities I see in them are that they are still focused on school, but they can also relate to a wide variety of people their age while having core friends to turn to. They aren't giving up true friendships to trade for less real ones, but, as Christians, Jesus ate with taxpayers and sinners. A problem I see on campus is being able to see the other side, the opposing view. I need to be able to relate to people my age, even though my friendships with them might not be as deep as others because it is not centered on God. The effort to relate to the other side, however, I've noticed is laking at my school and I'm still learning how I feel about this. Charity and loving all people is important, but it doesn't mean that I have to be friends with everyone.
I do know that I've been blessed with friendships at Belmont Abbey. It is so important to surround myself around good people who strive for holiness because, then, we can support one another towards the same goal.
We are meant to be social creatures, like in Genesis when God said that it is not good for man to be alone.
I've learned that friendships in college, however, make or break your character as a person. Isn't that scary? College is such an interesting time of development where we exert independence, but we aren't really fully independent yet. Sure we act like it, but in reality are we really fully independent and not just in the material sense but also in the emotional and psychological sense.
As a freshmen, I have SO much to learn to continue growing.
This mindset of learning not only in school, but also socially is seen differently from different people. I've seen people my age on campus who have taken less care for their scholastic experience and more care for their social, which is a problem. They are consumed with partying and flirting and the drama behind their lifestyle is so ugly.
And, on the other hand, I've noticed people who don't socialize enough and need to take a break from the pressure they put themselves under in school. I understand the desire to make good grades and do well, but as social humans we also need to take the time to care for ourselves as a whole person and not just our mental facilities.
How do we find this balance?
Being active in a wide variety of groups and organizations allows you experience different perspectives. to surround myself among different friends. Experience with dealing with both the "nerds" and "jocks" helps make my social experience more wholesome because I am encountering the real world. In my work circle, I am most likely going to face opposing views and have to spend more time with others to understand their views. I'm OK with this, in fact, I find it very interesting how different people bring different qualities out of myself. I am still myself, but I will insert certain phrases and sayings to relate to the social group I am around.
I've also noticed the people who seek this same balance as myself. Qualities I see in them are that they are still focused on school, but they can also relate to a wide variety of people their age while having core friends to turn to. They aren't giving up true friendships to trade for less real ones, but, as Christians, Jesus ate with taxpayers and sinners. A problem I see on campus is being able to see the other side, the opposing view. I need to be able to relate to people my age, even though my friendships with them might not be as deep as others because it is not centered on God. The effort to relate to the other side, however, I've noticed is laking at my school and I'm still learning how I feel about this. Charity and loving all people is important, but it doesn't mean that I have to be friends with everyone.
I do know that I've been blessed with friendships at Belmont Abbey. It is so important to surround myself around good people who strive for holiness because, then, we can support one another towards the same goal.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What to do?
Guys,
I've been really bad with my blog recently.
Sorry!
I just don't really know what to do with it because I like blogging for the sake of keeping up with friends, sharing stories and writing, but I don't want to have to try be creative. If I come up with something, then I'll write on it and that will be that.
So basically I haven't thought of anything to write about and this is a really boring post.
But I will share my thoughts on my baby sister because she's been consuming my thoughts/prayers/conversations for the past couple months :D.
Although I think that its strange that I'm at school while my family is taking delight in a new member, I love how connected I can still be to the "going ons" of my household. I believe that connection comes from sharing such close quarters with my family for most of my life. And I really appreciate that security of coming home and feeling like I haven't been gone for the past two months, which is how I felt during my recent trip home on fall break. By the grace of God, I'm so lucky to have such a large family. Sure the challenges of the family hadn't disappeared, but the fact is that (for the most part) we can get past those conflicts and focus on having a good time when we all get together. Obviously, my parents play a huge part in my family's connection and who I am today. What I love the most about their parenting style is that they have so much going on that I have the space to properly develop and come to them if I need to. They are not the type of parents who pester their child but I trust them so I want to tell them all the major changes going on in my life.
Anyway, so Stella Therese Marian is gorgeous and so so so tiny! I'm always amazed at how dependent babies are of others, but just holding that tiny, innocent, precious life does something to the human heart. How can purity of soul not affect us jaded ones? I look back on that short time that I got to meet her and I feel so blessed. And to think that I am the godmother of her, especially when she has her whole life in front of her! Just think of the potential! I would love to grow up as the baby of the family so that I could see the experience of others and distinguish who was successful or doing well so that I could plan my life in search of the same happiness.
I am still astounded at how much love can pour forth from my heart because of such a tiny person. I can't wait to see what she will be like. What is her personality? Who will she take after? Will she survive being the youngest, especially after three boys? She's going to have to be a strong person for sure because there is a lot of competition in my family. What's she going to look like? God, do you think, maybe, if she could, like you know, take after me? Pretty please? Because that would be so cool. AHHH I can't wait to show her the ropes! I can't wait to see how God will use her in this crazy thing called life.
I've been really bad with my blog recently.
Sorry!
I just don't really know what to do with it because I like blogging for the sake of keeping up with friends, sharing stories and writing, but I don't want to have to try be creative. If I come up with something, then I'll write on it and that will be that.
So basically I haven't thought of anything to write about and this is a really boring post.
But I will share my thoughts on my baby sister because she's been consuming my thoughts/prayers/conversations for the past couple months :D.
Although I think that its strange that I'm at school while my family is taking delight in a new member, I love how connected I can still be to the "going ons" of my household. I believe that connection comes from sharing such close quarters with my family for most of my life. And I really appreciate that security of coming home and feeling like I haven't been gone for the past two months, which is how I felt during my recent trip home on fall break. By the grace of God, I'm so lucky to have such a large family. Sure the challenges of the family hadn't disappeared, but the fact is that (for the most part) we can get past those conflicts and focus on having a good time when we all get together. Obviously, my parents play a huge part in my family's connection and who I am today. What I love the most about their parenting style is that they have so much going on that I have the space to properly develop and come to them if I need to. They are not the type of parents who pester their child but I trust them so I want to tell them all the major changes going on in my life.
Anyway, so Stella Therese Marian is gorgeous and so so so tiny! I'm always amazed at how dependent babies are of others, but just holding that tiny, innocent, precious life does something to the human heart. How can purity of soul not affect us jaded ones? I look back on that short time that I got to meet her and I feel so blessed. And to think that I am the godmother of her, especially when she has her whole life in front of her! Just think of the potential! I would love to grow up as the baby of the family so that I could see the experience of others and distinguish who was successful or doing well so that I could plan my life in search of the same happiness.
I am still astounded at how much love can pour forth from my heart because of such a tiny person. I can't wait to see what she will be like. What is her personality? Who will she take after? Will she survive being the youngest, especially after three boys? She's going to have to be a strong person for sure because there is a lot of competition in my family. What's she going to look like? God, do you think, maybe, if she could, like you know, take after me? Pretty please? Because that would be so cool. AHHH I can't wait to show her the ropes! I can't wait to see how God will use her in this crazy thing called life.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
ZzZzZz = College Life
Last night, we had the president's ball, which was fun.
I'm getting an x-ray tomorrow and could use some prayers. It's not that I can't make another few weeks of this because I get around really well. I just miss soccer - alot.
Here is a list of all of the classes I'm taking this fall:
Homework is starting to pick up. This weekend I'm writing 4 papers, but most of them are short. I really love my classes though. I'm turning into a nerd because I never realized how much I love understanding subjects before. Coming from a homeschooling background, I never had the opportunity to go to class every day. I talk so much class. Its pretty funny. And I've definitely seen that being able to teach yourself subjects has been so good for me in college.
Honors classes are so much more intense than my other classes. I'm really glad I'm in the Honors program because I am learning so much. What I especially love is that the professors take the time to make sure we understand the difficult texts or their critiques of our written work. It's a very learning conducive environment and the people I'm living with are such a great group of smart, silly, and genuine people. I was sick this week and the way they took care of me was just like I was a part of their family. People just pop by our suite and we throw parties! The other night we threw a nail/smoothie/bollywood party in our room.
And that's my update on college life!
I'm getting an x-ray tomorrow and could use some prayers. It's not that I can't make another few weeks of this because I get around really well. I just miss soccer - alot.
Here is a list of all of the classes I'm taking this fall:
Bio Lecture and Lab
Honors History of Ideas
Honors Rhetoric
Theatre Appreciation
First Year Symposium
Homework is starting to pick up. This weekend I'm writing 4 papers, but most of them are short. I really love my classes though. I'm turning into a nerd because I never realized how much I love understanding subjects before. Coming from a homeschooling background, I never had the opportunity to go to class every day. I talk so much class. Its pretty funny. And I've definitely seen that being able to teach yourself subjects has been so good for me in college.
Honors classes are so much more intense than my other classes. I'm really glad I'm in the Honors program because I am learning so much. What I especially love is that the professors take the time to make sure we understand the difficult texts or their critiques of our written work. It's a very learning conducive environment and the people I'm living with are such a great group of smart, silly, and genuine people. I was sick this week and the way they took care of me was just like I was a part of their family. People just pop by our suite and we throw parties! The other night we threw a nail/smoothie/bollywood party in our room.
And that's my update on college life!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Sweetness
College life is awesome!
I'm here for preseason and even though I broke my foot and therefore can't play soccer I am having SUCH a blast.
I love college soccer! I love the people, how everyone is so driven, the coaching staff and how much time they invest in really getting to know you. It's so me and it's really great. I just have to be patient and hungry at the same time. I'm biking a bit, doing core workouts, and keeping engaged in the classroom sessions. I gotta be able to rock 'n roll when my time comes, and trust me it's coming.
So far, the people I've met have been really fun to get to know. It's nice to be part of a "family" and get to know campus before everyone else arrives this weekend.
The basilica and the adoration chapel are so great to be able to go to whenever I want as well.
And strangely enough, I'm looking forward to classes starting....
I must be going crazy or something.
I'm here for preseason and even though I broke my foot and therefore can't play soccer I am having SUCH a blast.
I love college soccer! I love the people, how everyone is so driven, the coaching staff and how much time they invest in really getting to know you. It's so me and it's really great. I just have to be patient and hungry at the same time. I'm biking a bit, doing core workouts, and keeping engaged in the classroom sessions. I gotta be able to rock 'n roll when my time comes, and trust me it's coming.
So far, the people I've met have been really fun to get to know. It's nice to be part of a "family" and get to know campus before everyone else arrives this weekend.
The basilica and the adoration chapel are so great to be able to go to whenever I want as well.
And strangely enough, I'm looking forward to classes starting....
I must be going crazy or something.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
PACKING!!!!
People,
I am leaving in 6 days!
I can't believe it!
I've started legitimately packing my clothes and essentials today.
Wow, I have alot of STUFF.
See my 2 siblings before me have gone to colleges close by.
My college is 7 hours away.
I can't do what they did, which is swing by home and pick up stuff if they need it.
So I have to prepare myself for the colder months while not bringing every article of clothing I own.
This is alot harder than it sounds.
Does anybody have any college packing tips?
I'm trying not to overdo it. It's not exactly working. Oh well!
TTFN!
I am leaving in 6 days!
I can't believe it!
I've started legitimately packing my clothes and essentials today.
Wow, I have alot of STUFF.
See my 2 siblings before me have gone to colleges close by.
My college is 7 hours away.
I can't do what they did, which is swing by home and pick up stuff if they need it.
So I have to prepare myself for the colder months while not bringing every article of clothing I own.
This is alot harder than it sounds.
Does anybody have any college packing tips?
I'm trying not to overdo it. It's not exactly working. Oh well!
TTFN!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
The Ups and Downs
WELLLL
I have some news.
As I'm sitting here, figuring out how to say this, I look down at my last post about the beach. One sentence sticks out to me - "I'm enjoying this season of my life."
If you knew about recent events, you would look at my life now and think to yourself, "That statement does not portray how she feels now."
And a couple of days ago I would have agreed.
However, I've had a little time to think, pray, prepare and I know now.
My soccer dreams have not been in vain. Sure I have a Jones Fracture in my 5th metatarsal base. But if I want to succeed in life than I have to take any and every experience as a growing experience.
I feel like my world has been turned upside down and I have learned alot about myself. This is just the beginning of what's to come and I'm not worried.
A part of that comfort and confidence comes from me saying good-bye to control. I have a very extroverted personality and I'm a bit of a control freak. I have a choleric temperament that I get from my mother (go figure). This fracture is not something I can control so I need to stop blaming myself and start working on other stuff. Dwelling on myself being injured is pretty depressing and I'm not the kind of person who wants to be depressed for even a second.
This summer I spent a good amount of time working on my fitness and it's hard to not see that time as being a waste now. One thing I've learned is that my time is not God's time. And I know there is such wisdom in His planning. Do I like being humbled? No, but I really appreciate it later.
Maybe this is His way of saying slow down. I want you to enjoy the relationships you are fostering now. I want you to lean on me at this time because I am carrying you.
Maybe I don't have to know what I'm supposed to learn from this.
It's OK for me to suffer a bit. It's OK to sacrifice my physicality especially because I've been so blessed.
I've seen friends and family send out their love and support. They have been my crutch for the past week. It fills my heart with such bliss to know how strongly they care for me.
Maybe it's enough to know that I've gotten to where I am and who I am today because of love.
XOXO,
Robyn
I have some news.
As I'm sitting here, figuring out how to say this, I look down at my last post about the beach. One sentence sticks out to me - "I'm enjoying this season of my life."
If you knew about recent events, you would look at my life now and think to yourself, "That statement does not portray how she feels now."
And a couple of days ago I would have agreed.
However, I've had a little time to think, pray, prepare and I know now.
My soccer dreams have not been in vain. Sure I have a Jones Fracture in my 5th metatarsal base. But if I want to succeed in life than I have to take any and every experience as a growing experience.
I feel like my world has been turned upside down and I have learned alot about myself. This is just the beginning of what's to come and I'm not worried.
A part of that comfort and confidence comes from me saying good-bye to control. I have a very extroverted personality and I'm a bit of a control freak. I have a choleric temperament that I get from my mother (go figure). This fracture is not something I can control so I need to stop blaming myself and start working on other stuff. Dwelling on myself being injured is pretty depressing and I'm not the kind of person who wants to be depressed for even a second.
This summer I spent a good amount of time working on my fitness and it's hard to not see that time as being a waste now. One thing I've learned is that my time is not God's time. And I know there is such wisdom in His planning. Do I like being humbled? No, but I really appreciate it later.
Maybe this is His way of saying slow down. I want you to enjoy the relationships you are fostering now. I want you to lean on me at this time because I am carrying you.
Maybe I don't have to know what I'm supposed to learn from this.
It's OK for me to suffer a bit. It's OK to sacrifice my physicality especially because I've been so blessed.
I've seen friends and family send out their love and support. They have been my crutch for the past week. It fills my heart with such bliss to know how strongly they care for me.
Maybe it's enough to know that I've gotten to where I am and who I am today because of love.
XOXO,
Robyn
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