What do idealism, romanticism and optimism all have in common?
Well, strangely enough, (ha) I consider myself all three of the above, which is not as good of a thing as I used to think. But, I'm learning that there are pros and cons to my philosophy. Basically, when I think of a situation, I picture an ideal, a perfect outcome. Then I romanticize this ideal with flowery language, high emotions, and easy steps that lead to my perfect conclusion.
While it may be alright to dream, sometimes my futuristic mindset disables me from experiencing the present in full. Isn't this sense of fulfilling pre-operated notions why we stress? Where does my attitude of having to please myself and God come from? Where does this pressure to perform well come from?
I want to understand why I act the way I act, then make sure that I handle myself well in certain situations. Maybe I want an ideal where I don't get anxious over trying times, and where I have the perfect answer for every question life throws at me in my spiritual, psychological, social, and emotional crises. This is where my optimistic philosophy factors in - I value looking for the good in the ugly. But optimism can make me blind to realities, simply because I want to refuse to face the music, even though I can't.
Sometimes I get lost when thinking how righteous I am. I don't party, do drugs, drink, have sex outside of marriage, how bad can I possibly be doing? But then I think of all the people I could be touching, all the hearts that I haven't been brave enough to entrust myself to. Or being blind to the needs of others around me. What fickle, distorted, silly, interesting, wonderful human beings we are.
Love,
A college girl who is learning, growing, and discovering myself.
