The Ups and Downs

WELLLL

I have some news.

As I'm sitting here, figuring out how to say this, I look down at my last post about the beach.  One sentence sticks out to me - "I'm enjoying this season of my life."

If you knew about recent events, you would look at my life now and think to yourself, "That statement does not portray how she feels now."

And a couple of days ago I would have agreed.

However, I've had a little time to think, pray, prepare and I know now.

My soccer dreams have not been in vain.  Sure I have a Jones Fracture in my 5th metatarsal base.   But if I want to succeed in life than I have to take any and every experience as a growing experience.

I feel like my world has been turned upside down and I have learned alot about myself.  This is just the beginning of what's to come and I'm not worried.

A part of that comfort and confidence comes from me saying good-bye to control.  I have a very extroverted personality and I'm a bit of a control freak.  I have a choleric temperament that I get from my mother (go figure).  This fracture is not something I can control so I need to stop blaming myself and start working on other stuff.  Dwelling on myself being injured is pretty depressing and I'm not the kind of person who wants to be depressed for even a second.

This summer I spent a good amount of time working on my fitness and it's hard to not see that time as being a waste now.  One thing I've learned is that my time is not God's time.  And I know there is such wisdom in His planning.  Do I like being humbled? No, but I really appreciate it later.

Maybe this is His way of saying slow down.  I want you to enjoy the relationships you are fostering now.  I want you to lean on me at this time because I am carrying you.

Maybe I don't have to know what I'm supposed to learn from this.

It's OK for me to suffer a bit.  It's OK to sacrifice my physicality especially because I've been so blessed.

I've seen friends and family send out their love and support.  They have been my crutch for the past week.  It fills my heart with such bliss to know how strongly they care for me.

Maybe it's enough to know that I've gotten to where I am and who I am today because of love.

XOXO,
Robyn