Random Thoughts

Recently, I've been reflecting on changes going on within.  Sometimes I feel like my life is a mess and I look at people who have it all together, wanting to be like them.  But then I notice people who have lives just as messy and complicated as mine and it seems like they don't notice that their lives could be better.   Then I wonder if I actually notice the little details in life that lead to a chaotic and scatterbrained existence. I mean do any of us actually change our ways when someone points out that we need to change? Even just a little? Maybe we'll listen one or two times but in the end our choices come from what we understand within us. And if our reasoning doesn't comply with another person's truth are we willing to understand where that person is coming from? To actually change our nature for the better? Basically, what I'm trying to say is in the normal hum drum of our lives are we really going to make life changing decisions that affect who we are and who we become.

How does God get through to stubborn willed people like myself? All I can think of is the more stubborn we are the more drastic action God has to take for us to notice Him.

And that's where suffering comes into the picture because the more joys God gives us, it seems as if we forget all the more to be grateful.  Suffering forces us to take a good hard look at our choices/life/beliefs.  We would be boring without suffering since suffering forces us to rely on something or someone outside of ourselves.  We have to face that we cannot handle this life alone - physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually.

How does suffering change our nature? Form our souls? And not always for the better..... Even if we do not drastically turn away from God, sometimes we just trust His plan a little less. Or maybe we realize that we don't understand His plan or feel His presence, but in those times when evil seems to reign and He seems to be absent we really are vulnerable.  We have to put our hearts on the line and they either become refreshed or dry/bitter.

Suffering is God's way of forming our character.  He teaches that vulnerability means being open to pain, but He also shows that getting hurt is how one grows in true life-giving love.

Can we really give ourselves to God or one another if we haven't experienced love?

What is love then? More than just a fleeting feeling but an actual openness to being. To being eternally connected with the beloved; spiritually bound to the Savior. That seems to me why  God uses suffering on people who don't deserve it - to help them grow in love.

This summer I'm going to be on a quest of figuring out not only what true love means but also how it should look in everyday life. The family is a great place to start because family shows how no matter the choice or consequence they will forever be tied to you - whether by choice or genes.

And if your family is not an example of life-giving and sacrificial love then where else do you look?  The media and society are not good examples of true, faithful love. I feel like true love is one of those things we experience and live through but don't really notice. It's under played but vitally important. True love is about giving rather than receiving.  And I am blessed to have friendships and relationships that give instead of take for their own use. It just makes me wonder if I give all that I can to my family and friends....but do any of us?